[caption id="attachment_17330" align="aligncenter" width="620"] Getty Images[/caption] THERE are plenty of things we can expect from upcoming NFL seasons. Absurd touchdown dances. Big plays. Bigger hits. Cleveland continuing to dwell in the cellars. But there are also things that we know definitely won't crop up throughout the 21 weeks of glorious football. Predictions that are raised by some, yet viscously shut down by others. I had a stab at this list last season and while it wasn't perfect, I was pretty pleased with my efforts. Let's see if I can get closer this time, with 10 things that just 'ain't gonna happen in the 2012 NFL season. 10. Eagles QB Michael Vick making it to Week 8 Michael Vick was the beneficiary of a 6-year, $100 million contract last year. That's a lot of coin. To put it into perspective, it's enough for him to buy 185,530 Apple iPads (if we want to get really precise). Don't get me wrong, he's a stellar player and deserves every cent, but the man can't stay healthy. Vick has only played one full season since entering the NFL nine years ago and has already endured two injury scares (to his hand and ribs) this preseason. Chuck in the defences of Baltimore, Pittsburgh, New York Giants and Detroit in the first six weeks of the season and you've got yourself one ticking time bomb. 9. Giants going back-to-back and winning Super Bowl XLVII The Giants are a solid team. They've got a quality defence, some handy running backs and a QB that can now be considered elite. But the stats are against New York here. Winning two Super Bowls in a row is a rare feat. In the last 20 years, only three teams have gone back-to-back (New England, Denver and Dallas). It's just not that straightforward. Also, and this is just a gut feeling, but I'd put a handful of teams ahead of the Giants right now - Patriots, Saints, 49ers, Texans and the Packers. Eli will be watching XLVII in the loving arms of Archie come February. 8. San Francisco, Houston to miss respective Championship Games [caption id="attachment_17331" align="alignright" width="165"] Al Bello / Getty Images[/caption] Not. Gonna. Happen. Not only did these two franchises prove their worth last year, but they're also blessed with relatively weak divisions (NFC West/AFC South). San Francisco should've really made the Super Bowl last season (if not for some unfortunate mishaps), and Houston was crippled with injuries to crucial offensive players - WR Andre Johnson and QB Matt Schaub. Could we have a 49ers v Texans Super Bowl? Yeah, it's likely. But it'd mean Jim Harbaugh will be there. Sigh. 7. Pete Carroll adhering to the NFL norm Seahawks head coach Pete Carroll has never heard the phrase "it's my way or the highway". In Pete's world, it's: "Sure, I'll do things your way, except for the fact that I find your way to be mundane and boring, so actually, no, I'll do things my way." We've seen it since he took over the Seattle job in 2010. In the past few years he's snagged a CB who was floating around in the CFL and turned him into a Pro Bowler, kicked out the club's long-term franchise QB who took them to their first and only Super Bowl, engaged in a THREE-way QB competition and signed Terrell Owens. The list goes on. Don't expect this to change throughout the season. I'm tipping an experimental punt on first down, a 73-yard FG attempt and a 'fan of the week' competition whereby a Facebook fan is selected at random to start a game at MLB. 6. Players refusing to mock Giants WR Victor Cruz's salsa dance I'm not against the young WR's quirky TD celebration. It's a bit of clean family fun and no one gets hurt. Great result. But for poor old Victor, you just know that the first player to pick off Eli Manning and take it to the house is going to unleash identical moves for all to see at MetLife Stadium. My prediction? Week 2, v Tampa Bay, rookie safety Mark Barron. Wouldn't that be just delightful? 5. New York Jets winning more than four games in 2012 What a terrible offseason it has been for the Jets (you wouldn't think though, given their incessant ESPN coverage). Not only have QBs Mark Sanchez and Tim Tebow shown next to nothing, but their WR core is not standing up, they're having punch-ons at training and Antonio Cromartie is bringing the locker room into disrepute again (he's of the belief that he's the team's second-best WR. The sad thing is, he may well be right). After two games, they've been outscored 43-9 and conceded 12 sacks. They haven't even scored a TD yet. Sure, it's only preseason, but things aren't looking good. Any Super Bowl predictions, Rex? 4. Arizona quarterbacks throwing for 18+ touchdowns...combined The Cardinals' QB situation is a mess. A real mess. Their $65 million man Kevin Kolb has shown very, very little since he arrived to Flagstaff and he's a bona fide scaredy-cat. As for John Skelton? His career 13-16 TD-INT numbers don't blow my socks off and, well, he has a bit of a mug. Chuck in the fact that LT Levi Brown is likely to miss the season and Arizona finds itself with Larry Fitzgerald lying in the foetal position sobbing profusely. 3. Luke Kuechly missing out on Defensive Rookie of the Year [caption id="attachment_17339" align="alignright" width="179"] Jeremy Brevard / US Presswire[/caption] When this kid's name was read out on draft day I died a little on the inside. The Panthers rookie linebacker has done nothing but impress since arriving at his new home. In his preseason debut against the Texans, Kuechly registered four tackles and forced a fumble (against Arian Foster) in just over one quarter of football. In the following week against Miami he had three tackles and a pass deflection. From all reports the 21-year-old is also a ripping bloke, so Carolina has found itself a gem. 2. Jaguars RB Maurice Jones-Drew being traded Jacksonville's poster boy is holding out. He's not happy. There's been rumblings on the wireless that a trade could be a on the cards. Yeah, right. Jacksonville were offensively putrid last season, finishing dead last in total offence. They weren't even close to 31st-ranked St Louis. All they can boast is a man we all know as MJD, a bloke who finished perched atop the running back table last season with 1,606 yards (a whopping 250 more than second-placed Ray Rice). You need to be able to gain yards to win games, that's a given. Can you imagine these guys if they DIDN'T have MJD? Gross. Say whatever you want, but he's not going anywhere. 1. NFL fans improving their grammar We all love our teams. We all love to hit the wires and vent. But every year our grammar and spelling on social media seems to get progressively worse. Too often do we see Facebook threads bombarded with smack talk such as "your goin down Ravens", or "the Raiders suk! Their the worst team ever!". Alas, this flagrant disregard of the English language won't disappear. No matter how hard we try, it's one thing that is, and always will be, hanging around. I blame the schools.
What do you think is definitely not going to happen this NFL season? The floor is yours.